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June 20th
Issue #12
 
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Thursday 6/20/13
Issue #12
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Hello - Meet My Kids


By F. Kenneth Taylor - 6/20/2013

Red Heart
  Photo Credit: victoriaKh / Shutterstock.com

It's taken me a few days to write this article due to a little research. I conducted a brief online survey on several websites, while the feedback was minimal; it served its purpose nonetheless. This seems to be a popular topic among both, male and female single-parents who are currently dating or previously dated someone, so I'm just gonna dive right into it. When is the right time for the person you've been dating, or the person you're thinking about dating, to meet your kids?

I expected the answers between males and females to differ a bit, but the guys caught me off-guard, and were completely with the ladies on this one! Wow! Imagine that! Most of them believe that you should tell the person you're dating about your kids right away, because the 'little-man' (or lady), is a part of you, and who you are, not to mention the fact that the 'wee-people' get first dibs on absolutely everything! Now, if the person you're dating has a problem with that-Oh well-Tough! They could hit the road!

What I didn't realize until I read an answer I received from a male participate named, 'Oscar'; is that, I was actually asking two different questions rather than one, two-part question. Apparently, 'telling' the person you're dating about your kids upfront, isn't the same as 'introducing' them to your kids. Here's Oscar's reply...

"... I would let them know immediately for the simple reason that your children are a part of you. It'll be better for and your children for them to know firsthand. Some people don't want children or don't want the baby-daddy/mama drama.. but at least if you come off telling the truth, they would have to respect the fact that you come forward on your own. In the end you will have all the answers you need about that person and your observation would be based on the truth not lies...and yes not telling is lying. Now introducing your kids to him/her, that's a whole other thing ..."

I must say Oscar-I agree. Although, I don't think 'not-telling' is the same as lying, because some things simply aren't meant for everyone to know about-especially, someone you've just met and you're trying to get to know. Nonetheless, I truly enjoyed Oscar's response, thanks for replying!

Another participant, a female this time, 'Monica', takes it a step further with a pretty strong reply, here's her thought...

"...Immediately, I actually would never agree to go out with someone before they knew about my children/previous marriage. I don't feel that you should be asking someone out without knowing anything about them to begin with...what are you basing your interest on? Appearance only?
I wouldn't waste my time on someone without knowing whether or not they would be okay with me and all the things that come along with me entail, including my children because they aren't going anywhere. If you have a problem with, you have a problem with me.
If children from previous relationships/marriages are a deal breaker that is something that should be discussed up front. Anyone who is genuinely interested in who I am as a person, should already know I have children..."

Wow! Said and spoken as only a woman can say it! So to sum it up for the single-parents navigating your way through the twist and turns of the dating world-Its seems the best thing to do is to be upfront about the little ones! Good luck!


 








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